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The Word 13
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The Word 13 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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09-Phonemessages.txt
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09-Phonemessages.txt
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1997-03-02
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136 lines
$c70|1- Creative Ways To Answer Your Phone
Supplied by the .net
A LunaLabs Producation...
$3a7 +-----------------------------------+
| |
| Creative Ways to Answer |
| Your Phone |
| |
| Typed By Elric of Imrryr |
| Lunatic Labs UnLtd. |
| |
+-----------------------------------+
$7a3Here is a list of strange or interesting ways to answer the phone.
Whether to be your own, your roomates, and pay phone or what have you.
Shhh! Don't talk, just listen! Meet me at the corner of Broad and
Main and bring the girl.
Martin's Mutilated Meat Market. Marvin Martin here.
Don't ever call me again!<click>
Congratulations! You've just won an all-expensive-paid trip to the
Arctic!
So! You've found me! Well you won't stop me! Tomorrow I unleash
Microbe X! <click>
You continue to call? Good! Now I can place the Curse of the Rats on
you!<click>
Joe's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Secret headquarters of Clown for Crime. Bozo speaking.
You realise, of course, that while you are wasting your time calling
people on the phone, millions are starving
Admit it! You have no idea who I am!
Calling for help won't do any good! We have taken over your town today,
and tomorrow we'll take over your world!
If you don't have a good reason for calling me, I swear I will kill
myself!
Hi! Wanna have sex?
International Transmutal Conglomeration of Associates. May I help you?
By calling this number you have triggered a relay that will blow up your
phone.
It's -37! Okay? -37! Sheesh! Some people! <click>
Adolf Hitler speaking.
Renfield! I told you never to call me during the daytime! You know how
the sunlight burns!
Sorry can't talk right now! This building is about to blow up!
Help! We're being robbed! I - arrrggghhh...<click>
This is the year 2054. May we be of assistance?
This is Madame Olga. I see all and know all. To whom am I speaking?
Dick is out. Jane is out. Spot is out. This is their answering
machine. I am in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your
name. At the sound of the beep leave your message. <Beep!>
This is John Potz, worm cultivator
You?! Well your mother! That's right! Your mother!!!
Harvey Hathaway, hit man. I hit who you hate. Prices range from
£10,000 to £50,000.
This is Fred Farnum speaking to your from the grave.
Dis is Louis. Whose is youse?
Hello, you're on the air. May I assit you?
Hi. If you can tell me how to spell cloaca you will win 2,000!
Austin Police Department.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z! <Click>
Hi! Are you calling to buy the parent dissolver or the organic
lycanthrope pills
This is Alexander Trumble, and this is the Twilight Zone.
This is Captain Blood, supervillian for hire.
It's no use! Your call won't get through! We now control the telephone
company!
If you take off your skin it will get very cold outside
Death here. Hold on, I'll be right with you!
Hello. This is Walter Masters. I am undoubtedly one of most
interesting people you are going to run across in your meager life. Why
are you calling me?
Run! Run! The little blue men are coming! Run! Aarrgghh!
Hang up! Right now! Just hang up!
Eggs taste terrible when they're not salted properly
You pervert! Call me again and I'll rip out your small intestines and
tie it around you scrawny little neck, you geek!
$ff0[Hehe. I was getting annoying calls once (Hi Kooky!) so I borrowed an
answering machine and recorded that "The number you have dialed is
incorrect" message with a loop so they hand up! It helps if you have
Caller ID though incase it's your relatives/friends are calling. Kei]
$7a3
end